Understanding OCD: Breaking Down the Myths Part 3: How it’s Treated
OCD is a condition in which intrusive thoughts become sticky and distressing, and people feel driven to use compulsions to relieve that anxiety. When it comes to treating these thought loops, reliable information can be surprisingly hard to find. In parts one and two, we went over myths about what OCD is and how it works. Understanding what OCD does is an important first step in treatment, so you’ve already taken a big step. Let’s break down some more myths, this time all about OCD treatment.
Understanding OCD: Breaking Down the Myths Part 2: How it Works
If you’ve spent time learning about OCD, you may have realized that the version of OCD portrayed on screen is rather incomplete or inaccurate. After learning the many forms OCD can actually take, the next question is often “why?” and “how?” In part one, we went over common myths about what OCD is. When it comes to the why and how of OCD, there is again no shortage of misinformation.
Understanding OCD: Breaking Down the Myths Part 1: What It Is
From sitcoms to reality TV to social media, the world has a lot to say about what obsessive-compulsive disorder is, how it works, and how it’s treated. Unfortunately, not all of it is accurate. And when it comes to OCD, recognizing it is half the battle. OCD is a disorder that occurs when distressing intrusive thoughts become sticky and difficult to dismiss, causing intense anxiety and a drive to reduce that anxiety with compulsions. This can present in a wide variety of ways, and two people’s OCD may look very different from one another.
Beyond “Problematic”: When Your Favorite Artist Causes Genuine Harm
I’m getting ready for work one morning and I have an algorithmically derived playlist on in the background. It’s playing my favourite genre; a mix of songs I love and new ones it thinks I’ll enjoy. When I hear the opening chords of a song I adored in high school, I get first that familiar rush of nostalgia and care and then the crashing horror as I’m reminded of the trial, the verdict - an artist I once loved having done something horrific.
How to Try Therapy Again After a Bad Experience
After a bad experience in therapy, deciding to try again matters. It takes openness and resilience to come back to something that didn’t feel good the first time. While therapy can be a powerful and safe place for many, some people have bad experiences and often decide that means therapy isn’t for them. When you’ve been promised an opportunity to heal and instead been met with harm, that reaction makes sense.
When Easter Hurts: Understanding Religious Trauma and Finding Your Way Back to Yourself
Recently, while traveling, I passed a billboard that said, “Pick Jesus or the Easter Bunny. Not both.” I felt my stomach tense for a moment. Not because the message surprised me, but because of what it represents. It reflects the pressure many people grew up with, the expectation to choose the right path, the belief that joy or playfulness somehow competes with spirituality. It reminded me how often people were taught that there is only one acceptable way to exist, celebrate, or belong.
From Self-Criticism to Self-Trust: Moving Through Anxiety & Letting Go of Perfection, Part 2
What often sits just beneath that critical voice is something deeper: anxiety. The pressure to get everything “right.” The fear of falling short. The sense that if you’re not perfect, something will go wrong. Let’s take the next step together—learning how to loosen that pressure and begin moving forward, even when things feel uncertain.
Breaking the Chains of Self-Criticism: Discovering the Real You, Part 1
Picture this with me for a moment: you catch your reflection in the mirror… and instead of seeing you, your mind immediately starts listing flaws. Too much, not enough, should be better.
Feeling Like You Are Too Much? How Therapy Can Help You Return to Self
Who do you hear when you’re told you’re too much?
Who do you hear when you’re told you’re not enough?
Is it yourself? Or the voice of those who weren’t able to show up for you
The voice of those who instead of trying to understand you, dismissed you?
The Fawn Response After Relationship Trauma: When People Pleasing Becomes a Survival Strategy
Have you ever caught yourself saying yes when you really meant no? Maybe you notice yourself managing other people’s feelings, apologizing constantly, or avoiding conflict even when something really matters to you. Maybe you leave conversations feeling resentful, exhausted, or like you disappeared somewhere along the way. If this sounds familiar, you may be experiencing the fawn trauma response.
Boundaries: What They Are, What They Are Not, and How They Change After Abusive Relationships
For individuals who have experienced abusive relationships, conversations about boundaries can feel particularly loaded. Advice that sounds straightforward on the surface may overlook the reality that boundaries were not just unclear or underdeveloped, but repeatedly violated, dismissed, or punished.
Is This a Sex Problem or a Relationship Problem?
As a sex therapist, this is one of the most common questions people bring into therapy. It usually comes with a lot of uncertainty and often a quiet fear about what the answer might mean. Is it me, or is it us?
When the Pinnacle Feels Out of Reach: What Bridgerton Gets Right About Orgasms
If you’ve watched Bridgerton, you might remember the careful way characters talk around sex. One phrase that stands out is the idea of reaching a “pinnacle.” It’s a euphemism, sure, but it’s also a surprisingly useful one. Because for many people, that pinnacle can feel distant, confusing, or completely unreachable.
Depression When the World Feels Like It’s on Fire (Part 2): When It Starts to Feel Personal
In Part 1 of this series, I wrote about depression that shows up when the world feels like it’s on fire. Not the kind of depression that comes from one specific loss, but the kind that settles in when stress, fear, and uncertainty never really let up. What I want to name more directly here is this: for many people, especially marginalized communities, the world feeling “on fire” is not a metaphor. It is personal. It is lived. It is happening to you and the people you love.
Understanding OCD: OCD & Attraction
OCD knows no bounds when it comes to the topics that it circles, and a common topic across the board is attraction. This shows up in many OCD themes, and is especially true in themes involving relationships, sexuality, and identity. Those with OCD may face intrusive thoughts and doubt regarding whether their attraction to others is appropriate, if they’re really attracted to their partner, or if they can really trust that they know their sexual orientation, even with no true evidence to the contrary.
Understanding OCD: Sexual Orientation & Gender Identity OCD
Discovering who you are, what makes you feel most like yourself, how you identify, and who you’re attracted to is an exciting, and at times very nerve wracking period of growth and discovery. For many, this period involves uncertainty, vulnerability, and big emotions: all a normal part of figuring out who you are. And for some, OCD can hijack someone’s ability to feel a sense of certainty about themselves or engage with self-discovery.
Why I Read Smutty Books (A Sex Therapist at Valid Love Explains)
Romance novels and sexually charged stories are often dismissed as silly, indulgent, or embarrassing. But from a sex therapy and mental health perspective, reading smut can be regulating, empowering, and deeply validating. It can also be a meaningful way to explore desire without pressure, performance, or shame.
What the New Year Really Means for Mental Health at Valid Love
At Valid Love, we notice something every January. People come in feeling conflicted.
The New Year is supposed to feel hopeful. Motivating. Clean.
But for many people, it feels heavy, emotional, or quietly overwhelming.
If that is you, we want to say this clearly. Nothing is wrong with you.
The Moral of the Story: A Blog About OCD
Morality is one of those things we’re all taught to consider as we grow up. Be good. Do the right thing. Treat people well. But for folks who live with Morality OCD (also called “moral scrupulosity”), that normal human desire to be a decent person can turn into a relentless internal surveillance system. Instead of guiding someone toward their values, it traps them in fear, self-criticism, and doubt about whether they’re “good enough” at all.
Trauma and Families During the Holidays: Finding Safety, Connection, and Space to Breathe
he holiday season can bring magic, comfort, and the soft glow of connection. At the same time, it can stir up memories, tension, and emotional overwhelm, especially for people who carry trauma histories. This time of year tends to magnify everything. The joy feels brighter. The pressure feels heavier. The old wounds feel closer to the surface. For many clients and families I work with, the phrase “family gathering” does not bring up images of laughter and warmth. Instead, it brings a sense of bracing for what might come next.