OCD knows no bounds when it comes to the topics that it circles, and a common topic across the board is attraction. This shows up in many OCD themes, and is especially true in themes involving relationships, sexuality, and identity. Those with OCD may face intrusive thoughts and doubt regarding whether their attraction to others is appropriate, if they’re really attracted to their partner, or if they can really trust that they know their sexual orientation, even with no true evidence to the contrary. 

Discovering who you are, what makes you feel most like yourself, how you identify, and who you’re attracted to is an exciting, and at times very nerve wracking period of growth and discovery. For many, this period involves uncertainty, vulnerability, and big emotions: all a normal part of figuring out who you are. And for some, OCD can hijack someone’s ability to feel a sense of certainty about themselves or engage with self-discovery.

Romance novels and sexually charged stories are often dismissed as silly, indulgent, or embarrassing. But from a sex therapy and mental health perspective, reading smut can be regulating, empowering, and deeply validating. It can also be a meaningful way to explore desire without pressure, performance, or shame.

At Valid Love, we notice something every January. People come in feeling conflicted.

The New Year is supposed to feel hopeful. Motivating. Clean.

But for many people, it feels heavy, emotional, or quietly overwhelming.

If that is you, we want to say this clearly. Nothing is wrong with you.

Morality is one of those things we’re all taught to consider as we grow up. Be good. Do the right thing. Treat people well. But for folks who live with Morality OCD (also called “moral scrupulosity”), that normal human desire to be a decent person can turn into a relentless internal surveillance system. Instead of guiding someone toward their values, it traps them in fear, self-criticism, and doubt about whether they’re “good enough” at all.

he holiday season can bring magic, comfort, and the soft glow of connection. At the same time, it can stir up memories, tension, and emotional overwhelm, especially for people who carry trauma histories. This time of year tends to magnify everything. The joy feels brighter. The pressure feels heavier. The old wounds feel closer to the surface. For many clients and families I work with, the phrase “family gathering” does not bring up images of laughter and warmth. Instead, it brings a sense of bracing for what might come next.

If you live with ADHD and feel like you are constantly managing other people’s emotions, you are not alone. Many people with ADHD find themselves stuck in codependent relationship patterns without realizing it. You might feel responsible for keeping the peace in your relationships. You might jump into caretaking or people pleasing when someone around you is stressed. You might give more than you get. These are common signs of codependency, and when ADHD is in the mix, these patterns can feel even stronger.

Every year, as the days get shorter and the sky looks a little heavier, many people start to feel a shift in their mood. You might notice you are more tired than usual, or you suddenly feel overwhelmed by things that were fine a month ago. Maybe you feel yourself pulling away from loved ones or sinking into habits that make you feel disconnected. Seasonal depression is common, but a lot of people have a hard time noticing it until they are already deep in it. And if you already live with stress, anxiety, relationship strain, or the emotional load of caring for others, the seasonal shift can feel like someone quietly added more weight to your shoulders.

Have you ever felt like your brain is on overload and your body is buzzing with tension, even when nothing is wrong? Many people confuse anxiety with overstimulation, and it’s easy to see why. Both can leave you exhausted, restless, or ready to hide in your car just to get a minute of quiet. Understanding the difference helps you respond with compassion instead of self-criticism, and that’s where real calm begins.

Many people experience some irritability or mood changes before their period. But for some, the emotional and physical symptoms are so intense that they interfere with work, relationships, and daily life. This is not “just PMS.” It may be Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder, or PMDD.

Living with a chronic illness means waking up each day and navigating a body that does not always cooperate. Pain, fatigue, brain fog, or unpredictable symptoms can reshape how someone moves through the world. Yet what often goes unseen is how chronic illness impacts mental health, not only because of physical limitations but also because of the social and emotional messages surrounding disability itself.

Have you ever wanted connection with a partner, friend, or loved one, and found yourself pulling away just as it appears? Maybe someone offers comfort or closeness, and it brings more tension than relaxation. You might find yourself overthinking, worrying about saying the wrong thing, or simply needing space when your heart secretly longs closeness. If this sounds familiar, you’re not alone.

There is something uniquely heavy about trying to keep your head above water when it feels like the entire world is sinking. War. Climate crisis. Injustice. Mass shootings. Political chaos. It feels like every time you check the news, something new is burning. And then there is your own life: bills, relationships, health, exhaustion. The pain of just existing.

If you are someone who lives with depression, this kind of global weight can feel unbearable. And if you are someone who has never struggled with your mental health before, you might be finding yourself caught off guard by just how exhausted and low you feel.

This blog is for you.

Hi there. If you’re here, you might be wondering whether sex therapy can help you or someone you care about navigate intimacy, sexuality, or connection while living with a neurodivergent brain. Whether you have ADHD, autism, OCD, sensory sensitivities, or just find that your experiences of sex and relationships don’t look like what’s portrayed in mainstream culture, you’re not alone.

As a sex therapist, I’ve worked with individuals across a wide spectrum of identities and experiences. One issue that continues to surface in both subtle and profound ways is sexual violence. While it affects people of all backgrounds, sexual violence has a particularly complex and often under-discussed impact within the LGBTQ+ community.

As a therapist committed to justice, compassion, and radical healing, I ground my practice in the principles of Fat Liberation, Health at Every Size (HAES), and intersectionality. These frameworks are not separate from the therapeutic process, they are central to it.

It all started with a Post-it note war over who left the sponge in the sink.
Day one: “Please rinse the sponge after use 😊.”
Day two: “Maybe we should both try rinsing better 😉.”
Day three: “It’s moldy now. We’re all going to di

Learning to thrive while working or in graduate school is difficult. It's mentally intense, often isolating, and full of brilliant people who seem like they have it all figured out. Now add ADHD to the mix, and suddenly it can feel like you're the only one who's barely holding it together while everyone else is submitting perfect drafts, publishing papers, and answering emails on time.

(Blog 2 in our series about ADHD Rage)

If you’ve ever felt like your emotions hijack your body—your voice rising before you know it, hands clenched, heart pounding, and next thing you know, you’re in silence, feeling full of regret, and maybe a heavy cloud of shame. My friend, you are not alone.