One of the most painful things I witness in my therapist chair is not always what someone experienced, but how quickly they begin questioning whether it was significant enough to matter.

A client may spend twenty minutes describing a relationship that left them anxious, disconnected from themselves, constantly walking on eggshells, or questioning their own reality. Then, almost as an afterthought, they’ll say something like, “But maybe it wasn’t that bad,” or “other people have gone through worse.”

It’s often said with uncertainty, as though they are trying to determine whether they have earned the right to feel hurt.

For individuals who have experienced abusive relationships, conversations about boundaries can feel particularly loaded. Advice that sounds straightforward on the surface may overlook the reality that boundaries were not just unclear or underdeveloped, but repeatedly violated, dismissed, or punished.

Relationships are a fundamental part of human life. Whether romantic, platonic, or familial, relationships influence our emotional well-being, self-esteem, and life satisfaction.